The other day I found my CDs AND my sound system. Played Trio or Trio II and heard those words and realized I'm not the only one who's ever seen nothing but dark at the end of the tunnel. At least in the tunnel, you're out of the rain.The problem with writing a blog is it's designed for the present tense, but the writer in me can't write until I can use the past tense. If I write in medias res, the mood is vaguely hysterical, and the New Englander in me won't allow the publication of blather. But by the time I've gotten through the crisis or emotion or complication, I've squinted at it from a couple of angles and can usually dredge out of it a positive whatever. That room for analysis and grudging acknowledgement of sunshine is probably why I sound like an incurable Pollyana.
The other problem with my blogs is they arise from spiffy summer experiences that lead to interesting blogbits. Then I append to "Second Summer" posts from the end of January! A lot happens between October and January, a lot that's worth passing along, and a lot that is better left unshared. But it still seems strange to post it on a summer blog.
On October 7, the day after I arrived back in Milwaukee, my older brother (who has Parkinson's without the tremor) said, "I think I need to go into Assisted Living." In terms of affordability, it was better for the two of us to swap residences. Soooo, since October, I've planned and executed two simultaneous cross-town moves, arranged for free social services to assist the bro', activated a website for volunteers providing meals, served as medical advocate (and extra pair of ears) at doctor appointments, cataract surgeries, CAT scans, responded to requests to bring over that table, these pants, the cookbooks, arranged a second move of items not ready for the first one, packed up 11 (e.l.e.v.e.n.) boxes of overflow china from the dining room, and, oh, Lord, lots more.
A friend asked yesterday, "Are you taking care of you!" And I'll admit it's easier to say yes than to explain why you can't think fast enough to do anything but take a nap in the spare time!
Well, that's the rain. But the sunshine is that since October I've done all the above with time for two trips to Atlanta to see the girls (and to share in Kim's graduation with an Associate's Degree in Political Science), hosted the family Thanksgiving, attended Friendsgiving in Washington state with Camp Denali friends, and have even found the time to make soup and English muffins. And I've taken the time to rejoin the choir.
And I think that's better...the pleasure balancing the work, the sun shining when it rains. That's when you see the rainbows. You think about pots of gold, breathe the freshly washed air, and realize that you'd never have experienced that without the rain.
So perhaps I'll just go on sounding like a Pollyana--don't think, though, that I'm without time in the tunnel.
